How we arrange love!

 

” I did it, your brother did it, then why can’t you?”, asked my mother holding up the photo of a prospective groom in her hands. “Come on, look at his face, tell me one thing you don’t like about it? ”

“ Amma, it is not about this guy, I am just studying now, what if I don’t…..? “, I started talking hesitantly, but by that point, she had taken off her headphones and was trying to bring the photo of him so close to the webcam, that all I could see then was his extra red tie!

I tried yelling at the top of my voice to get her attention for a couple of times and then got tired and hung up!

It was a typical Sunday morning Skype conversation with my parents, a conversation that does not move an inch without bumping into the topic of my wedding!

I have seen successful arranged marriages up close, my brother’s for instance, he had  talked literally for ten minutes with my now sister in law before saying his capital Y-Yes! I am sure he wasn’t apprehensive, he said it with gleaming eyes and a smile he couldn’t wash off! And my parents, even after thirty-two years of arranged married life they cannot seem to spend even a day apart.

So don’t get me wrong, my disagreement is not towards the concept of arranged marriages, but towards a system that shows utmost hostility to anyone who refuse to follow the set rules of a religious, patriarchal society. A system where it is considered okay to break ties with a child because he/she did not think religion has the power to dictate their love, a system where a girl is asked to give up her studies or career at the glimpse of a rich, qualified husband, where a boy is not given the choice of pursuing his passion because having a ‘steady’ job is prerequisite for boys to enter the wedding market.

I got a call from my best friend this morning.

“What are you doing”, she asked?

“It is 6.30 in the morning, what do you think I am doing?” I replied half asleep!

She was unusually chirpy, “Check your WhatsApp! You are going to love this, she couldn’t stop laughing.”

I hung up and checked my WhatsApp, she had sent me a screenshot of a newspaper column, I zoomed into the picture to read.

Hindu Parents invite proposals for their daughter 26 years, fair, 5 ft 1′, doing Master’s abroad seeks good alliance from well to do and settled boys .

There it was, I described in 20 words or less.

I am here waiting for the love of my life to take a scan through the pages of his Sunday newspaper, and get swept off his feet.


 

The above text is an excerpt from one of my older journal entries. In India, along with the Sunday newspaper, there is a supplement sheet where you can give matrimonial advertisements. Giving a picture below so you can get the gist.

wedding

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16 thoughts on “How we arrange love!

  1. Oh, how I loved this post – your attitude and your spirit. I waited until I was 50 to marry and then I only married because I had met a person who I knew was, and who has proven to be, a perfect match for me. You have a marvelous head on your shoulders and your parents should be so proud they raised an intelligent young woman who can certainly manage her own life choices.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. How refreshing to hear that! I am curious to hear more about your love story ❤ And, thanks for saying these kind words. It is very encouraging and reassuring and I am sending this comment to my amma too 😀

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I enjoyed reading this. I wouldn’t dare ask if there were any “applicants” your parents ‘approved’ since your ‘advertisement’ but I’m sure you are keeping your ground on your own life plans and your parents love you nonetheless.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Sorry for the late reply. Your comment ended up in the spam section, probably because of the word advertisement haha. There were applicants that my parents approved alright 😀 but I am a big romantic and somehow this whole thing did not resonate with me. So I decided to give it some time.
      Thanks a lot for commenting. I really love your blog and it means a lot that you would take the time to read and comment on my writing ❤

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Hi Jo! I check my spambox regularly, too. I don’t know how we could avoid it in the future but I guess it’s a good thing WP does that.
        I’m another hopeless romantic. My culture stems from days of (long) courtship and engagements and I find that idyllic. Nothing wrong with being idealistic and of course, we do blame Disney for that. 🙂
        I guess you could say I’m also waiting and just enjoying time with myself for now. I think that’s always the best thing.
        Hope you’re having a great week. 🙂

        Liked by 2 people

  3. This is so true! Though I’m only 19 and there’s no talks on this topic in my home (lucky me. Atleast for now.) But I occasionally read that newspaper and simply laugh at this system. I am very opposed to it but only if any of the bride or groom doesn’t want it. If they are okay with living with a person who they know only for 10 minutes I’m okay with that. It’s just that the parents forcibly marrying off their children without their consent what irks me.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. My parents started panicking when I turned 24 which as I understand was the case for most of my girlfriends and for boys around 27-28 😀 But in any case if it ever comes to that and you need some tricks and tips to handle the situation I am always here to pass the wisdom 😉

      I also wanted to share this post with you. One of the similarities we talked about yesterday. https://jothetumbleweed.wordpress.com/2016/07/27/what-i-do-in-my-free-time/

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Thank you! Though I don’t think I’ll be told to marry for another 9-10 years or even more if I think. I should meet the right person rather than just hurry. Who cares what the society says?( umm..apparently everyone but that’s not the point!) And I’ll check that post!

        Liked by 2 people

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